“No problem. Carlos will take care of the Portuguese and Jon the English/French.”

“Thanks.”

The next day, at the Príncipe Felipe Science Museum, the interpreters meet the person in charge.

“OK, so who is the Portuguese interpreter?”

“I am,” answered Carlos.

“Well, come with me now and I’ll introduce you to Kaká,” said the woman.

“Kaká the footballer?!”asked an amazed Carlos.

“Yes, didn’t you know?” she replied.

“No,” I interrupted, speaking as the representative of the Route 66 translation department, “but it’s fine. So, who will I be interpreting for?”

“Well, as Márquez is Mexican and speaks Spanish perfectly, you’ll have to help Henry,” she replied.

“Thierry Henry who plays for Barça?!”

“Yes, but, did no-one tell you this? Ah, of course, security precautions… We don’t want the place to fill up with journalists and particularly not with kids…”

“Of course, of course,” agreed the interpreters.

So, there we were with the three football stars, having a kick about, helping them in their press conferences and interviews and, mostly Henry and I, having a laugh. In other words the ideal job.

They were very pleasant: it seems that Route 66’s translators and interpreters are efficient and friendly.

And not to mention the drinks reception when we’d finished…. It was just a shame they couldn’t stay longer to chat with us some more.

P.S. When they send me the photo, I’ll show it to you. Just to make you jealous

In my version of football, teams wouldn’t win by scoring goals. Instead there would be a points system. Teams can win points by having:

1. Players with the most amusing, strange or interesting hairstyles
2. The most inventive goal celebrations
3. The funniest or most creative ways of falling over in a foul situation
4. Spectators who support their team with the greatest enthusiasm, singing new songs, wearing strange clothes, carrying huge banners or making the most sensational Mexican waves
5. Goalkeepers who save goals with the greatest originality.

Teams could lose points for:
1. Racist, sexist of obscene comments
2. Having players who earn more than €80,000 a year
3. Having players who appear voluntarily in gossip magazines
4. Having players who claim to be dying when no-one has touched them.